OUR STORY
SUM Shirts was born the way all great things are — after too many beers before a Cubs game (back in 2009) and one wildly specific shirt that said:
Mustaches + Scotch + Cigars + Bacon= AMERICAN
It wasn’t meant to start a brand, just to start conversations. But when people started complimenting it, photographing it, and one guy tried to buy it off my actual body, we realized we were onto something.
Fast forward to 2023. I was laid off and had one of those “what do I really want to do?” moments. As a family, we dug in and realized the answer was pretty simple: I’ve always loved making shirts, my wife Alyssa has always loved fashion, and together we thought we could give this a real shot. SUM Shirts became our family-owned experiment in turning sarcasm, nostalgia, and math into wearable conversation starters.
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Very First SUM + SHIRT
July 2009
It’s not just the two of us, either. Our kids (Jake & Allie) pitch in with ideas, pass out stickers at local festivals, & test out designs (usually with a lot of sticky fingers). Even our 3lb dog Punky Marie Barkster, The HBIC (Head Bitch in Charge), weighs in with her own kind of feedback — mostly demanding barks and the occasionally frustration leg kicks.
As far as what we do, we make shirts for the people who speak fluent Puns + Sarcasm + Nostalgia + Math — the ones who know the exact scene when you say, “Stove? What kind of name is that anyway?” or if you say "The Jerk Store Called" you think of George shoving shrimp in his mouth.
We believe in local pride, pop culture Easter eggs, and equations that make no sense on paper but make perfect sense on a soft cozy shirt. Every design is a wink to the clever, the snarky, and the slightly-too-online.
What makes us different? Our SUM-style math, of course — part formula, part fever dream. We also specialize in shirts that celebrate hometowns and the brave souls out there that are willing to share their ideas. The rest is, cult classics, inside jokes, and all the ways we survive adulthood (usually via snacks and passive aggression). Every shirt comes with a sarcastic blurb, because apparently we don’t know how to be serious. You're welcome.
Shipping is free over $60. Customer service is a real thing we care about. Professionalism? We'll circle back on that. For now, we're just here to add some fun into your life — one gloriously weird equation at a time.
Stay Snarky,
Anthony & Alyssa
SUM + SHIRTS Co-Founders
We make clever shirts.
You look clever wearing them.
Teamwork makes the math work.